Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner. No Really Guess.

Ladies and Gentlemen… mostly ladies. It is I your fearless and courageous leader, your knight in shining armor, your God of Rock. I would first like to apologize to you for taking so long it has been ages since we have had our last fireside chat… our little get together. But it’s not because I don’t care it’s not because you don’t matter to me. Don’t believe what everyone else is saying because know that deep down in this rough made to rock exterior beats a heart(perhaps the greatest most awesome heart ever powerful enough to power a space shuttle to the moon and back, but still a heart). And this heart beats only for the fans of the riot, and that is our subject for the day ladies and gentlemen… you. Without you we wouldn’t be here. We as the Riot thrive on your love and admiration for us and it is because of that admiration that we go forward. Every bit of encouragement, every kind word goes a long way. And believe me in this tough world encouragement is truly felt.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but just last week last the band had decided go over our drummer Castro(God of Thunder) house(Olympus) and figure out how to play our last few shows and then break up. The truth is that each of us has lives and we felt like things weren’t coming through fast enough( yeah it was that bad). As we were sitting there all deep in despair the houses power went out and the ground began to shake the house was assuredly coming down but then just as suddenly the roof of the house is ripped off!!! And when looking up where the roof had once been instead of seeing the sky there was a man a giant man black and beautiful with flowing white hair and beard included. He was wearing a long white robe and oddly enough Ray Ban sunglasses. Yes it was God. The band was speechless, but our third guitarist Ralph was the first to speak “Hey  who do you think you are ripping the roof off of the house like that?” we tried to stop him but it was already too late God gave him the heavy metal sign lightning flashed from his finger tips and Ralph was no more! Not even a speck of dust. I your fearless leader was next to speak “Oh great one what can we your humble servants do for you?”

He looked at us for what seems like ages and then he turned his back on us we could see from his motions that he was struggling with the buttons on the front of his robe after struggling for a moment he got it off and all we could see was the back of a black t-shirt and then he turned around. He was wearing a new RIOT INSIDE t shirt(purchase one at our next concert also available by contacting us through the site)! And then he said “You all can’t quit, because you’re my favorite band. Now autograph my shirt or prepare to be smitten cur!!!” All of us signed his shirt and as a gift to the band for listening to him he now has the grim reaper taking tickets at all of our future shows so that if anyone tries to leave before we get take the stage then he touches them and they never get to see any show ever again.

Your own personal God of Rock,

Lewis F. Jones