Happy Holidays!

From the Desk of Lew Jones,

Hello, and Merry Christmas my little monsters! Wait, what the fuck? Sorry about that, I was possessed by Lady Gaga for a minute. Anyway Happy Kwanzaa, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and Happy Days Off to all the Athiests.

Anyway, off to our weekly discussions.
I was talking to a friend yesterday who was sad that we didn’t have a white X-mas. Now, how many of you wanted a white X-mas, and another question, were any of you in Chicago last year? I’ll wait… If you’re one of these strange people who wanted snow, you must be off of your rocker, last year we had record snow falls which means that if we didn’t have snow for the next three winters, I’d be happy.

The band has been taking a much needed rest from practicing, and we’ve been spending time with our families(the Olympians), so that we can start off next year with a bang bringing you, the fan, much needed music therapy.
I am eating ribs right now for no other reason than to irritate you by telling you that I am eating ribs. I’ll bet you want some now don’t you? Well that’s too bad, because you can’t have any. Oh my god, there’s barbecue sowce dripping from them. And I’m drinking a beer, a damn good beer, which you also can’t have, and afterwards, I’m going to eat a brownie and some ice cream. I’ll bet that you want to go to the store now don’t you, don’t you? Well that’s too bad, because I haven’t dismissed you yet. So just keep sitting there, reading the screen. Maybe I should talk to you about something that I care absolutely nothing about, like give you the description to a Lifetime movie. Here’s my description of any and all Lifetime movies.

Woman meets a guy, they fall in love, guy cheats/beat/dies on her, she survives… that’s it! Uh oh Lifetime, I just gave up the plot to every movie that you’ve ever made! Does that make you angry Lifetime? Oh well.

Anyway, I got a little carried away there. And for that I’m sorry. Make sure that if you haven’t bought the Riot Inside CD 404, or our self-titled album, then buy it!!! I’m gonna go back to my ribs which you can’t have.

Dismissed,
Lewis F. Jones